Somehow, I’m blessed to have been born with a sense of contentment regardless of what life throws at me, I’ll always search to find the good in every situation; which ultimately makes it more bearable. But I’m not inhuman when faced with challenges, disappointments of any kind can be tough for us all. Through dealing with these personal life experiences, I’ve also been lucky to be able to help those who surround me find ways to happier days when going through struggles of their own. Along this journey, I’ve realized three things that will suck the happiness out of you.
Focusing on how your life is supposed to be rather than embracing what it is.
So you had a plan when you were young to be married by a certain age, have 2 children, along with an incredible career and a fairytale you dreamed about. But then reality hit and you discovered that life doesn’t always go as planned. There’s a tendency to focus on how your life is supposed rather than embracing what it is. Why would you ever waste one second of energy on that? Instead, consider focusing on being grateful for what you do have and you will take the first step to true happiness. Living in the “now” is all that we are guaranteed so enjoy what surrounds you today. Remain open to how things come and go in your life, believing there may actually be a good reason for where you are, which might be exactly where you’re supposed to be. Let go of how timelines and comparisons; just believe.
Only thinking of oneself rather than those who surround you.
Did you know that most selfish people don’t even realize how selfish they are; it’s just kind of built or learned over time? But to be unhappy is to think of only oneself. When your mind immediately goes to how you will benefit, no matter what the context, not only will your happiness be sucked right out of you, but you won’t have many friends. Instead, train your mind to start thinking of others first, what makes them happy, may ultimately make you happy too. When you give to others there’s a sense of fulfillment you won’t ever get from only thinking of yourself.
Jealousy of others instead of being happy for them.
This is a word I dislike greatly because everything about it is negative, selfish and unkind. Being jealous or telling someone that you’re jealous of them or what they have truly means that you are only thinking of yourself. If your friend tells you she is going on vacation to the Bahamas at an amazing resort next month and you say, “I’m so jealous” what does that say about you? It’s ok and very normal to be envious of others, but don’t be jealous, or use that word for that matter, it’s such a waste of energy. Instead, start to train your mind to take YOU out of the equation and express a sense of happiness for others.