4 Qualities of a True Friend

Reflecting back over the past year I’ve learned so much about friendship and what it truly means to me. I’ve come to the sad realization that most people befriend us for selfish reasons rather than for true affection and it can takes years to decipher the difference.  The good news is, we can choose our friends so we don’t ever have to settle. Here are 4 qualities to look for in a true friend.

A true friend shouldn’t bring you down.

Whether you talk, text or are lucky enough to spend time together, a true friend who loves you should lift you up, make you smile and be happy for you no matter what might be going on in his or her life. Yes, we all have our troubles and friendship isn’t always going to be 50/50, sometimes it’s going to be 80/20, but the ultimate goal should be to give and take as evenly as possible. If more often than not, you’re happy and your friend is bringing you down, you shouldn’t feel guilt or shame for how you feel, and if you do, be aware, this person may not be your friend.

A true friend is trustworthy and honest.

Please know, this is coming from a brutally honest girl who feels that you should be able to be real 100% of the time with your friends and visa-versa, otherwise what’s the point? When you’re honest, you become trustworthy because they go hand in hand and without both, there is no friendship, it’s as simple as that. As soon as a friend lies to you be aware that this may not be someone you can trust or want in your life at all.

A true friend makes the effort to spend quality time with you.

I have a friend that I crave to be with one on one. Yes, we like a girl’s night or meeting up for dinner, but we mostly like to just have a few hours of alone time to get deep, laugh and caught up on stuff without interruption. We don’t need much, maybe a glass of wine and some snacks on a comfy sofa and we’re thrilled. And most of the time it’s hard to say goodbye. She misses me and I miss her; we both make equal effort to see each other and that is a sign of a true friend.

A true friend isn’t jealous. 

When you truly love someone there is no room for jealously because a friend’s happiness should affect you positively, not negatively. Whether the jealousy is of another friendship you might have or something special that’s occurred in your life, there is no room for it in friendship because it will only bring hurt and pain to the relationship. This is a quality that is a bit more obvious because you can tell when a friend isn’t rooting for you, but instead is always envious. Be aware and keep your distance from friends who aren’t happy for you.

In any friendship, being real, supportive of one another and happy for each other are the basis of a true friendship. Ask yourself what you expect from your friendships and don’t accept anything less because you deserve exactly what you give. Friendships, especially for women, are empowering; be there for each other no matter what!


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