Should you text your ex on his birthday?

With all the social networking going on nowadays, like Facebook for instance, and this world of texting versus talking, it seems almost impossible to simply breakup with someone and move on. You now have to ask yourself, do I ‘unfriend’ and also disconnect in every other way? If you don’t, those daily reminders of your ex could ultimately only cause more pain, questions and anguish for both of you, especially those freaking birthday reminders. So after a breakup, should you text your ex Happy Birthday?

Of course, the answer to this question isn’t simple because every relationship is different. But right off the bat, my initial reaction is NO, do NOT text your ex Happy Birthday or anything else for that matter. There’s a reason you are broken up and it’s important to set a precedent for yourself and your former partner regardless of who broke up with whom. You certainly don’t want to look desperate if you were the one broken up with, or you don’t want to hurt or cause your ex to read into a text thinking there is a chance you might want to reconnect, especially when you absolutely do not.

With that being said, if you’ve parted ways on a kind and thoughtful note, maybe after years together, reaching out via text to wish your ex a happy birthday is a very nice thing to do. It’s always important to know your intentions before texting an ex and to consider what the other is going to think about it beforehand. Here are a few things you may want to ask yourself.

Why do you feel the need to text your ex?

Be honest with yourself, why do you want to reach out to your ex? If it’s just a friendly Happy Birthday wish with no expectation or hidden agenda, then by all means send it. But if you are missing your ex, feeling lonely and are looking for attention, DO NOT SEND! If you, or your ex, has moved on and is dating another, DO NOT SEND, have respect for those innocent individuals. If one bit of doubt washes over you, go with your gut and DO NOT SEND.

Was this ex a positive influence on your life?

If your relationship ended for any number of negative reasons, let it go and don’t look backwards, move onward and upward. Believe in yourself enough to recognize what’s best for your life right now and not care that it’s your ex’s birthday. But on the other hand, if this person was a positive influence on your life and the relationship just didn’t work out, it’s ok to text a Happy Birthday wish. It’s important to recognize the difference.

Any relationship must be 50/50.

If things are amicable between the two of you, ask yourself, would he, or she, reach out to me if it was my birthday? If you can say yes, or if that person has already wished you well on your special day, then it’s ok to send send  simple text to your ex. Having healthy relationships of all kinds is one of the most important aspects our lives. But if there is even the slightest bit of hurt or pain still left on either side, forget about it. Let his/her family and friends send the well wishes, it’s not your job.

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